One of the things that became really clear to me during my time in the hospital last fall, and since, is that I have a lot of self-healing to do around Western medicine and the pharmaceutical industry. For a good portion of my life, I avoided doctors under belief systems (aka BS!) that they all simply treated symptoms rather than digging into the physical root cause of the dis-ease; that the pharmaceuticals they prescribed and, in fact, the entire pharmaceutical industry, did significantly more harm than good given all of the crazy side effects that you hear announcers speed read at the end of all of the Big Pharma commercials that are so prevalent on TV. This is all particularly ironic given the many MDs in my family, including my mom who made her transition about 18 months ago.
As I dug deeper into my conscious and subconscious beliefs with the help of my own spiritual practitioner, I realized that the dis-ease and pain my mom experienced during the last few years of her life added another dimension to the animosity and antagonism I held for the entirety of Western medicine. The field that she had been so devoted to and trusted, and used herself to touch countless lives, had completely failed her when she needed it most.* At least that the belief that I had been holding on to subconsciously.
All that I believed was not congruent with or supportive of my health and well-being as there was an underlying belief that something outside of me could, at the very least, not support me, and at worst cause me physical harm. This is something I’ve been actively working to release since my hospitalization.
As I reflect on the countless doctors, nurses, and others who supported my physical healing process while I was in the hospital, I am so grateful for the way they showed up in my experience. That’s not to say that I always agreed with them 100% on their diagnoses and recommended treatment protocols. In fact, one physician I worked with both in and after getting released from the hospital flat out told me that there was no cure for what ailed me and that I’d have to be on pharmaceuticals for the rest of my life to manage the symptoms of the dis-ease. Rather than arguing with him, I simply reminded myself that he didn’t know who he was dealing with (in consciousness) and promptly found a new doctor!
After wrestling with the monkey mind that repeated my story about Western medicine over and over, I recognize that the doctor was simply serving me by being a mirror for what I had been holding in consciousness. So I’m finally in a place of gratitude for the gift that he gave me because it allowed (or forced!) me to dig deeper into my belief systems and toss out what has not been serving me.
It all reminds me of the story of Jacob wrestling the angel from the Old Testament – “I will not let you go until you bless me.” So now, I claim and accept the blessing of the appearance of dis-ease and all those who have been supported me in my healing journey. And physically, I’m feeling better than I have in years!
“If we can accept that we are the sum total of all past thoughts, emotions, words, deeds and actions and that our present lives and choices are colored or shaded by this memory bank of the past, then we begin to see how a process of correcting or setting aright can change our lives, our families and our society.” ~Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona
Over the past several weeks, I’ve had a few people appear in my experience discussing the evils of Montsanto. I simply listened and didn’t engage in bashing the company, as I’ve learned from my own experience that I can’t be against anything; instead, I must decide and declare what I stand for and remain anchored in that. After the third instance of this, and in the spirit of taking 100% responsibility for my experience per ho’oponopono, I realized that there was still work to be done in my own consciousness around the beliefs I’ve been holding on to.
So I created this affirmation for myself:
I now surrender any and all conscious and subconscious beliefs that there is anything in creation that doesn’t completely support my good. I claim and accept that Montsanto, all of its executives, employees, suppliers and distributors are now golden links in the chain of my good. I claim and accept that the entirety of western medicine and all of its practitioners are now golden links in the chain of my good. I claim and accept that the entire pharmaceutical industry – all companies, executives, employees, suppliers, and distributors – are now golden links in the chain of my good. I claim and accept that every farmer on the planet is a golden link in the chain of my good. There is no thing anywhere in creation that can hinder, block, obstruct, disrupt, or delay the easeful and grace-filled manifestation of any good that is already mine in the field of pure potential. I am now fully and completely supported in my health and well-being. I am an irresistible magnet for my perfect good, in all of its perfect forms. There is no thing more powerful than the Presence within me. There is no thing more powerful than Divine Vitality within me. There is no thing that can disturb the perfect Peace that I am. There is no thing that can disrupt the perfect manifestation of wholeness that I am. I am vital and alive in Spirit. I am unstoppable!
In repeating this affirmation I feel the Truth of it in my bones as I’ve done much of the releasing work to let go of the old patterns of belief that had been causing me to think differently. Without having done that work first, I could not believe what I was reading in the affirmation as it would have been incongruent with what I had been holding on to. It would have been less powerful as I would have been saying one thing and, in my heart of hearts, believing something else. It all started with my recognizing what needed to be healed and then being willing surrender it up for healing. The entire process has been a powerful reminder of the old adage “what we resist, persists” in our experience.
What are you resisting? Is it time to let go of belief systems that are no longer serving you? What blessings are you ready to claim in your own experience?
*Side Note: I consciously recognize that my mom, at some level, created the entirety of that experience – not that it was something she wanted to experience or even consciously created, but that her health experiences were really an opportunity for her to consciously explore her divine nature (just as mine have been). In re-reading this last sentence I realize that my mom would have said I was blaming the “victim.” I, on the other hand, believe that we are, in Marianne Williamson’s words, “powerful beyond measure.” And just as I know that I created the experience that led to my 12-day hospitalization last fall, I know that powerful being that is my mom created the experience of physical body dis-ease during the last several years of her life.